I’ve started to crave rejection letters

offfice2A writers website I frequent has a page where fellow travelers can post their submissions, rejections and acceptances. It’s a habit for folks to say they haven’t received a rejection in a long time, they must send more submissions. So few submissions receive an acceptance and in a weird way it doesn’t seem the point anymore. Of course, I want my writing to appear in print, it would be lovely, but more lessons are learned from failure. I read a writer’s bio that expressed a morbid fear of rejection letters. It stopped me in my tracks. It’s like a house painter being afraid of cleaning brushes. No-one loves it, but it’s part of the gig. I file the emails under “declined” because it sounds more civilized than rejection.

Hi blog land. I’ve been busy. Has my tone changed? I wouldn’t be surprised.

I’ve been doing some paid work, I have changed my spell check to US English for it, I have invoicing software. I wish I had more invoices to write. I have created myself an office. I fear the joy my writing space gives me – do I enjoy the space rather than the work? But it is a peaceful place, the only place in my house where I crave order. The morning light makes it airy and golden, when I wake up I immediately want to be in it, to bathe in it, open my laptop, or notebook and see what happens.

officeAt the moment too little is happening. I feel I am in the early stages of a long pregnancy. The glow hasn’t worn off yet but I can see that it will. Soon.

In my paid work I write about tires. My partner gets a certain satisfaction from the contrast. I study high theory, complicated artsy concepts, and then I earn money writing about where the rubber grips the road. It’s a fair analogy for a writers career, I suppose. I love it. I feel I have purpose doing it. And I love the rejection letters because they remind me I have lots of pots on the stove. After spending ten years in a job that was a dead end after five, I revel in the multitude of options I suddenly have. None of them pay well, most of them don’t pay at all, but I have freedom.

Every rejection letter is one step closer to acceptance. But the most important thing is for me to accept myself, my work as it is, constantly evolving, always growing, ever developing. And I’m getting there.

I hope you’re well blog friends. Don’t be a stranger.


About Rachel Watts

I am a writer from Perth, Western Australia. My speculative fiction novella Survival will be released in early 2018. View all posts by Rachel Watts

2 responses to “I’ve started to crave rejection letters

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